If Commercials Could Win Oscars...

College is seriously getting in the way of me watching TV. Thus, I am not able to watch new commercials. Still, I need to write a blog. Therefore, I will use an old commercial for this post.

Volkswagen had this movie-like cliffhanger commercial several years ago. Whenever it came on, I would watch it all the way through for the ride. (haha pun?) I think I will narrate this commercial instead of rating it because it already is one of my favorites.



On an overcast, damp day, a silver Volkswagen Jetta speeds down a windy, country road. A melancholic theme plays in the background. The driver, who looks a little like Brad Pitt, is tense. We can tell he is tense because we see him brush the sweat from his forehead. He is dressed in cuff links. What could the occasion be?

In another location, a bride is being tended to. Four bridesmaids surround the pretty brunette in her white lacy gown and pearls. She puts on a smile, but she also looks down. Is she really happy on this special day?

Back to the driver. He races through a wooded area, making the scene even gloomier. He clenches the wheel and focuses on the road. He can't be late for his wedding can he?

In the bride's room, we are introduced to the bride's father. He looks calm, in control. He certainly has dealt with more stressful things than this. He's probably a CEO of some big company. Or maybe a partner in a powerful law firm. He sits with his leg folded on his knee to show his ease.

But the bride is anything but at ease. She feels her engagement ring and looks longingly out the window. This is a woman with doubts.

The instrumental in the background adds bells to its track. Two things are accomplished: the wedding is highlighted and the intensity kicks up another notch.

The driver checks his watch. He probably could have looked at the digital clock in the Jetta, but that wouldn't reveal his urgency.

The father checks his watch too. There seems to be an underlying race here...

The Brad Pitt lookalike slows down. He is stuck behind a trailer. "Time to put this in top gear," he thinks to himself. Our protagonist passes the obstruction smoothly like a true hero.

Meanwhile, the father has stood up and is looking around. The stress is even getting to Mr. CEO...

The music now has soprano opera voices come on. Intensity increases tenfold.

Brad Pitt is doing his best - racing across bridges and navigating that annoyingly curvy road. But then he gets stuck at a railroad crossing. His eyes widen. He puts his head on the wheel. He screams obscenities.

The father shuts the door. Literally and perhaps figuratively. Is the wedding canceled?

Finally, Jetta driver/Brad Pitt lookalike makes it to the WASPy looking church. He doesn't have time to park the car; he leaves it in the front driveway.

Now here comes the twist:

It wasn't his wedding at all! He has driven to this church in hopes of stopping the pretty brunette from marrying Keanu Reeves.

He gets there just as soon as the minister (who is obviously not Catholic) says, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Brad climbs up the stairs and stops. Keanu turns his head. Pretty Brunette raises her eyebrows ever so slightly. Brad takes a deep breath...

And that's it. That's where the commercial ends. The tagline, "Fasten your seatbelts." is displayed. Perfection.


The music is called "One Million Miles Away" by J Ralph. I may or may not have downloaded it when I was in 7th grade and listened to it before I fell asleep at night...

That's Enough, Google Ads

So, I know this is a blog about television commercials, but I saw something today that I needed to blog about...and it's kind of advertising related. (and I haven't posted in a week eek!)

Let me start off with a soul-baring confession:


blink-182 is my favorite band ever.


Okay, I know they're not the most musical of bands and their lyrics aren't the most meaningful, but they will always have a special place in my heart. They were the band that got me into music. I can recite the lyrics to every blink song ever written. I had this friend in middle school that shared my obsession with them and we would download live bootlegs of their shows and stuff like that.

This morning, I woke up and saw a text message from that friend. It read, "Did you hear travis barker died in a plane crash???" (ignore the miscapitalization)

I read that and my heart stopped.

Travis was the drummer for blink-182. He is a fantastic drummer. He is probably one of my music heroes.

I used the past tense for the first sentence because blink broke up three years ago. I used the present tense for the last two because he didn't actually die.

He was badly burned from the waist down. His assistant, bodyguard, pilot and co-pilot did die though. RIP.

I tell you this because after I received the text, I checked online to see if my friend was right. Thankfully, he wasn't. I saw an article on CNN disproving him.

But I also saw an ad on the right side of the article that was grossly inappropriate.


(click for bigger)

Seriously Google Ads? Come on now. I know it's a story about a plane. But really, do you need to advertise freaking United Airlines on a jet crash story? That is so wrong.

That is like showing an ad for plastic surgery after Kanye West's mother died from her operation. Or showing a Nissan ad next to an article reporting when Morgan Freeman (my narration hero) flipped his Maxima into a ditch...

So Google, you need a little disgression with your clicking empire. Please change your advertising algorithm so this doesn't happen again.

The Romeo and Juliet of Lizard Thai Ceiling Commercials

I have an hour before Editing class starts. Let's see if I can get this one done.

I like things that are sad, yet funny.

Like this icon someone had on LiveJournal:



















Doesn't it break your heart, yet make you smile?

I like things like that. Naturally, a commercial with that formula will certainly catch my eye.

This next ad is from Thailand. It combines a tragic love story, conflict and great product placement.



There are so many things that make this such a brilliant ad.

First off, there are cute animated lizards. The Geico gecko has nothing on these two. From the start, you're pulling for these cold-blooded lovers.

Next, comes our escalation - the ceiling tile they were on is cracking! The cute lizards' jaws drop. (Making them even more adorable.) What will they do?

Our climax. One lizard falls through the crack, but the other grabs her hand. (or foot?) Their grip loosens; their eyes begin to water. They know she's not going to make it, so they say something in lizard speak, which is probably -

"I love you."
"I love you too. If only they had better ceiling tile!"

but of course I'm no translator...

Anyway, the lizard falls slowly to her demise on a Thai man's chessboard. That shot reminded me of the most emotional movie of my childhood - The Lion King. I would watch that once a week, but I would turn away from the TV when Mufasa fell off the cliff.

After watching his OTP (One True Partner in uber geeky internet talk) fall to her death, the surviving lizard can't bear to live. So in true Romeo fashion, he flings himself down to join her fate.

My favorite part of this commercial is the men's acting. When they see the lizard about to commit suicide, they start freaking out. I especially like the man in the blue shirt's reaction. Then after the fall, they get so emotional that they start hitting the the guy in the beater for not having a better ceiling.

This ad was wonderfully done. The marketing genius who came up with the concept should get a raise. I wish we had comedic spots that are intelligent like that over here.


If this commercial doesn't sell ceiling tile, it certainly will make 8-year-old girls cry, or senile old men smile.

(Oh and I have 20 min left to walk over to Editing. Score!)

Lexuses Give You Inner Peace

Wait. What's the plural of Lexus? Lexuses/Lexura/Lexi? Whatever.

Last year, Lexus released one of those commercials that doesn't reveal its product until the end of the ad.



At the start, there was an equestrian and I thought, "Okay, that was artsy." Next they had a speedboat in slow motion and a woman taking pictures of the lights caused by the wind and I'm like, "Maybe the next shot will have the product." Then they show a cliffdiver and a kayaker and I lose it. "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL ME!?!?!!"

They close with 'The Pursuit of Perfection' and a shot of an angel-like Lexus smoothly gliding alond the road.

Ohhhhhhh. I get it. The theme of movement. Everyone is in pursuing something. Very clever, Lexus.

The music in this ad was spot on. Composed by Mark Joggerst, it was so hauntingly good that people scurried to cover it on their pianos/keyboards/violins.

The cinematography in this commercial evoked such a calmness. It appealed to a sense of hope that is mostly overlooked in TV ads. It made me feel that if I bought a Lexus, I would have the courage to dive off that mountain or row a canoe to the most peaceful, scenic river.

After watching this commercial, I could see 'driving a Lexus' as a new form of meditation.

I Want Morgan Freeman to Narrate My Life

So in my last post I mentioned that I watched the Olympics. That may be an understatement. For two weeks, my life sort of revolved around the Olympics.

I would wake up, turn on the television to find a soccer match between Nigeria and the Netherlands. Later, I would eat lunch with the 'Redeem Team' playing in the background. In the afternoons I would suffer through the tragedy that is Olympic boxing. During prime-time I had even memorized the order of events NBC went by: beach volleyball, then something at the ~Water Cube~ (swimming during the first week, then diving during the second), then perhaps some cycling or rowing, and lastly they would finish up with gymnastics or track.

Some nights I would even stay up late at night to watch fencing, badminton, or my new favorite Olympic sport - racewalking.

I was so into the Olympics that I would rather stay in than go out with friends. I would be hesitant to go online so as not to be spoiled of the results before I saw them on TV. The day Shawn Johnson won her gold medal, my father had already told me the outcome and I resented him that whole day.

There is something about the Olympics that makes you need to watch. Skipping the coverage is like being unpatriotic. On the other hand, seeing your country win an event is oddly fulfilling. When I saw Jason Lezak chase down the French team during that 400 Freestyle relay, I swear I felt like I had just won too.

Anyway, enough about me and my Olympics experience. This blog is about commercials remember?

Visa's series of 'Go World' ads were on almost every commercial break during the Olympics. There were many variations of this ad, but I will focus on my two favorites.



Let me begin by saying Nastia Liukin was my favorite gymnast during the Olympics. I don't know if that makes me a bad Iowan (ShawnJohn is from West Des Moines and on every Hy-Vee commercial in the state), but something about Nastia made me root for her. Maybe it was because I cheer for the overlooked (SJ got all the NBC love) or if I just wanted Nastia to live up to her parents' gold medal legacy.

This commercial pairs ballerina/baby music box music with stills of Nastia in perfect gymnast poses. The combination of the slow camera movement, golden color scheme, and the little rays of light make Nastia seem like a statue you would win for making a really good movie or TV show.

Now practically, I can't really relate to this ad. I don't have gold medal winning parents. I would probably break something if I tried to pose like that. I didn't actually go to Beijing, so I don't care if Visa is the only credit card accepted there. But if I ever have a daughter, it did inspire me to enroll her in gymnastics class the day she turns four.



Now isn't that commercial the most heartbreaking/inspiring thing you've ever seen? Okay, probably not. But still.

The thing that makes this commercial so heartfelt and touching is Morgan Freeman. When I hear his voice, I imagine that he's my grandfather telling me stories of his life experiences so that I may become as wise as him. You cannot feel sad when Batman's business partner is narrating your life.

If I had just played the worst game of golf of my life and Morgan Freeman went, "Nathan did not shoot five over par. He didn't shoot 10 over par. Nathan shot 30 over par today. But at least...Nathan finished." Freeman's commentary probably would soothe the pain my of failure.

Verdict: If you want dramatic and touching commercials, you can't go wrong if you have the voice of God (in Bruce Almighty) narrate your commercials...